Santa Banta SMS collection

Santa Banta SMS

(1)Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan? Banta: Gold ring de de. Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar. Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.

(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Punjabi Characters: 157)


(2)Santa waiting at bus stop in UK along with 3 women. When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more.

(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Punjabi Characters: 180)


(3)Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time santa asks: "behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?" Girl: "Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye."

(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Punjabi Characters: 199)


(4)Santa's shayari: Kutta marr gaya razai vich, main pagal ho gaya teri judai vich, fernail te machchar beh nahi sakda, main tere bina hun reh nahi sakda.

(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Punjabi Characters: 151)


(5)Santa: Mein tere 64 de 64 dand todd dene hai. Ik hor aadmi ne keha santa 64 nahi 32 Dand hunde ne. Santa: Meinu patta se tu vi bolega is layi tere vi gin laye ne.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Punjabi Characters: 166)

(7)Master: Mein tenu kutte te essay likhan nu keha si, Likh ke kyu nahi liyanda ? Santa: Ki karda master g, jidan he mein kutte te Pen rakhia oh paj geya!!!
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Punjabi Characters: 162)

(8)Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Punjabi Characters: 126)



(9)Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 132)

(10)Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the. Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 164)

(11)Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye. Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 102)

(12)What's Ford? Santa: Gaadi. What's Oxford? Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 74)

(13)Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? " A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 94)

(14)Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? " A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 95)

(16)Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg? O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 141)

(17)Santa: Bhagwane suit bada sohna paya hai. Jeeto: Thank u G Santa: Lipstick badi sohni laayi aa. Jeeto: Thank u G. Santa: Shingaar v sohna kitaa aa. Jeeto: Thank u G Santa: Par sohni pher v nahi lagdi...
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Punjabi Characters: 208)

(17)Santa ne apne nawen jamme bachche nu pakdeya per usne Santa te sussu karta. Santa to nurse: Bibi eh piece leak karda hai badal k le aa..!
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Punjabi Characters: 138)

(18)Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada deyo, mera vyah ho gaya hai. Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyaan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Punjabi Characters: 138)



(19)Masterji: kal school kyu nahi aaya. Santa: Gir gaya tha or lag gayi. Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi? Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gayi..
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 152)

(20)Santa & banta sending sms 2 their gfs. Santa:mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kahti hai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to...?
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 162)

(21)Santa's urine report got exchanged with a ladies pregnancy report. Dr. told santa, "you are pregnant". Angry santa shouts at wife, "Maine pehle hi kaha tha, mujhe upar rehne de".
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 180)

(22)Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabri hai! Maa: Bolo beta. Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 ho gaye. Maa: Badhai ho, ladka hua ya ladki. Santa: Na ladka, na ladki. Maine doosri shaadi karli.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 177)

(23)Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe. Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti. Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 139)

(24)Santa: "Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?" Banta: "B.A." Santa: "Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?"
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 104)

(25)Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua? Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain! Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 132)

(26)Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega, Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega, Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko, Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 144)

(27)A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 102)

(28)Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well. Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 168)

(29)A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao. Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 115)

(30)Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai! Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai. Santa: Kya naam hai uska? Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 193)

(31)Translation from hindi to english, "Khushi ke mare uski chaati phool gayi". Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 127)

(32)Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi. Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai? Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 139)

(33)In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon. Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 237)

(34)Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho? Santa: Suicide karne ke liye Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai? Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 148)

(35)Girl: Will u marry me? Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 147)

(36)Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai. Gangubai: Kaun ? Santa: Main ! Gangubai: Main kaun? Santa: Tu Gangubai
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 144)

(37)Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA (Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 94)

(38)Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, BETA hua BETA. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 158)

(39)Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog! Banta: Oh! That’s terrible. Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 137)

(40)Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 156)

(41)Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of. Pappu: Life imprisonment!
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 96)

(42)Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage. Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out. Santa: I didn't say he got out.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 163)

(43)Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"? Santa: It beats, beats, beats.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 94)

(44)Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why? Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 144)

(45)Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary. Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 160)

(46)Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start? Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 143)

(47)Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 128)

(48)Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain. Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey? Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: Hindi Characters: 149)


(49)To live this life I need a heartbeat, to have a heartbeat I need a heart, to have a heart I need happiness and to have happiness I need you!
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 140)

(50)I have liked many but loved very few yet no one has been as sweet as you. I'd stand & wait in the world's longest queue just 4 the pleasure of a moment with u.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 159)

(51)Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long!
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 99)

(52)How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School? A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 125)

(53)Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u? Banta: Me too, after u leave.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 102)

(54)Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college. Banta: What’s he studying?" Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 137)

(55)Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication. Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 94)

(56)Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track. Banta: Santa u'll die. Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 154)

(57)Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window? A: He wanted to see butterfly!
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 81)

(58)Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other. Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
(Category: Santa Banta SMS Language: English Characters: 156)